Left 4 Dead 2: A Perfect Night Under The Stars
by hidden-in-a-tree
Summary: "Live your life like today's your last day, 'cause there are people out there who won't have a tomorrow." -Anonymous. Oneshot. Angst/Fluff. Nick/Ellis.  Slight slash. Nick's POV.


**Author's Note: **This story was written while listening to 'Under the Stars' by Jamestown Story, which is a beautiful song that was used in this fanfic. Yes, this story is pretty gushy and mushy, but an apocalypse can't kill a person's romantic side, I say! =D

Oneshot. Angst/Fluff, I guess. Nick/Ellis. Slight slash. Nick's POV.

**Acknowledgements: **Thanks to Sean for reading this over and editing, and a thank-you to Amanda for doing the same.

**Disclaimer: **There are lyrics used in this fanfic that do not belong to me, and I acknowledge this fully. I also take no credit for coming up with the wonderful characters in this story.

**Summary: **"Live your life like today's your last day, 'cause there are people out there who won't have a tomorrow." –Anonymous

**A Perfect Night Under The Stars**

"Have you ever tried to count the stars?"

"Nah, Nick, I ain't tha' stupid. It's impossible."

Nick didn't answer. With his head lying against the cement roof of the safe house they were staying in – or on top of, rather – and his legs stretched out, his right foot crossed over his left ankle, he was more comfortable and at ease than he'd been since the infection hit.

If he wanted to – if he was in a different age, years and years ago – he'd reach his hands out to try to feel the pinpricks of light that didn't seem millions of miles away tonight. Maybe out of reach, but just barely. Every time he moved his eyes, the stars seemed to flicker and dance, changing the way the constellations were laid out in the heavens.

The night was beautiful, warm and airy. The world was hushed, and he could hear Ellis' deep and even breathing beside him. He couldn't hear an infected anywhere.

_A perfect night under the stars._

Sure, he was hungry and thirsty and exhausted and injured and mentally unstable, but right now he didn't care. He only had one life to live. One chance to do everything. Somehow he'd made it this far, weeks into the infection. Maybe his life meant something, maybe he was special, or maybe he was just one of the lucky ones.

Nick knew the last point was true: he was lucky. Fortunate beyond all recognition. Just having the chance to be able to appreciate the beauty of the stars had proven that to him. Being on top of that roof gave him something else to do, something else to think of that wasn't the miseries that plagued him mercilessly back on the ground.

Rochelle and Coach didn't know what they were missing. Sleep wasn't nearly as good as this.

"Lying out here –"

"Yeah, Nick, tha's what we're doin'. Lyin' out here."

"Smart ass. You didn't even let me finish."

He heard the younger man chuckle beside his left ear, and Nick grinned. Out here, he felt incredibly tiny as he stared up at that infinite amount of sky above him, miles and miles away. The weight of everything he worried about had fallen from his shoulders. Tomorrow didn't matter. Yesterday was in the past. The people he'd lost, those he'd left behind, they were gone and he couldn't change that. Why spend his waking moments, the moments where he was truly alive, dwelling on everything that had gone by him already. He couldn't have stopped such terrible circumstances from arising. He couldn't have stopped the infection from hitting – that was beyond everyone's control, save the Big Man upstairs.

Right now, though, he didn't need to fret.

_There's nothing we have to look out for, so let's make the most of this place._

"What I meant, Ellis, is that lying here makes me feel really small."

"Yeah … it's like … when we're out there, killin' shit an' tryin' not t'die, we're the biggest things in the world. To us, it's like … all 'bout us, y'know? But righ' now …"

"It feels like there's more to life than just us."

"Yeah …"

With that huge expanse of nothingness above him –

_(and yet, it couldn't be nothing … there were so many touchable stars up there, and he was brushing them with his fingertips. He could feel their electricity)_

– he felt more insignificant than ever before. Being so egocentric, it felt like he was always the leader, always the man in charge. The one that mattered. The infection changed that. Joining up with Coach, Rochelle, and Ellis made him become acquainted with the idea that it wasn't all about him.

At first, Nick had tried to leave them behind, use them when he needed to and then get out. He'd be better off on his own, he'd previously thought. After getting out of that hotel, he knew he couldn't abandon them. Just seeing Ellis look at him like that, like Nick made him feel safe forced the thirty-five year old to stick around. He couldn't let them down. It wasn't just about him anymore. Nick knew it wasn't the best reason for staying, but it was the one that held the most weight in his heart. His mind had motives of its own, however, crying out, _"Strength in numbers, strength in numbers!"_

Nick even began to like the people he'd joined up with. Especially Ellis …

"Nick?"

"Yeah, El?"

"Uh, I was goin' t'say … d'you think we'll 'member this night?"

"I don't think memories survive death."

Ellis sighed softly, and Nick immediately regretted saying what he'd said. There he went again, ruining a good moment. He always did that. God damn it, he swore at himself, why couldn't he just keep his big mouth shut?

"I'm sorry, I – uh, I don't know – maybe they survive death?"

"Nick, why're you so set on not makin' it out alive?"

Nick wiggled his body a bit, trying to get blood circulating to his ass again. He moved his right hand, and he felt his short brown hair against his palm. All of his digits were going numb from the weight of his head resting on his hand.

Why didn't he think he'd make it? And why worry about what might happen? He was here; he'd made it this far. Why ruin one of the best nights he'd ever had by trying to piece together the future?

"I don't know. The odds just aren't that favorable."

Ellis didn't respond, and in the silence, Nick felt more words trying to escape from his heart, but his mind shut them down.

"_And maybe I don't want to lose you after we get out of here. Maybe I'm only truly alive when I'm around you."_

He let his breath out slowly, and his suit ruffled with a breeze that had rolled across them from the north. In the distance, off near the edge of town, he heard a coyote howling desolately. If he pushed his head back as far as he could, crushing his fingers a bit more, he could see the moon. Selene was bathing the world in an eerily beautiful glow, nearly as bright as a sunrise or sunset, but her light was much more frigid.

Ellis shifted his weight slightly, and his right shoulder came into contact with Nick's. His breathing was all Nick could hear now.

Inside the older man's head, his mind was screaming about not ruining the night, just letting his feelings lie, not bringing up anything huge. His heart couldn't get a word in. As if from far away, Nick heard his emotional organ whisper, _"This might be the last time you're with him."_

His mind replied, _"There's always tomorrow."_

"There might not be a tomorrow."

"Huh?"

"Uh, I said … there might not be a tomorrow."

"That's what I figgered you said. An' it's true, y'know – this might be th'las' time we're t'gether."

Nick felt a look of disappointment cross his face. He'd been hoping for Ellis to say something more, something that would let Nick know that he wasn't making up excuses for every time Ellis touched him, every time the younger man smiled at him. Ah well. Who cared, right? Who cared. He knew Ellis didn't feel the same way. He knew that for a fact.

Even though he knew he should drop it, Nick murmured, "I promise I'll never forget this night under the stars."

His heart froze for a millisecond, wondering if he'd said too much. Was that too mushy? Too suspicious? Maybe even a hick like Ellis could hear the feeling hidden behind Nick's words.

"You'll still 'member, even if you die?"

Nick gazed upwards, staring at the Little Dipper just above his head, but he wasn't really looking at the stars anymore.

"I promise you."


End file.
